my first lesbian wedding was a scandalous affair,
there was a BRIDE and a BRIDE, with no GROOM in sight,
and all their friends were there,
two nice middle-aged ladies pledge their LOVE and traded RINGs,

and I guess you could say it was a very gay day,
and I got paid to sing..

it all went down on the South Side at this charming B&B,
I was the sub for a guy who’s a friend of mine,
he plays the weddings there usually,
Ellen and Dawn requested this Joshua Radin song called “Today,”

so I sang it for them as they walked in,
’cause Ellen DeGeneres had done the same..

I guess what makes me nervous is how it’s all so well disguised,
but behind the kind words, and the scrumptious hors d’œuvres,
that’s where the gay agenda lies!

they had a tasty wedding cake,
a dance MUSIC playlist that was great,
and all their friends seemed really fun,
it kinda made you wanna be a lesbian..

at my first lesbian wedding, such a wild and crazy trip,
I played for dinner and drinks, and then they said “thanks,”
and gave me an enormous tip,
some might call this occasion a sign of society’s decay,

back when the laws used to say you couldn’t do it that way,
they got their papers in New York, threw the party in PA,
and I guess you could say it was a very gay day,
and I got paid for it…

D, capo 3 (F)

2020 “Just This Guy” song contest entry. (1st place!)

The song must include:
1. The name of the couple.
2. The couple’s relationship to you.
3. The location of the wedding.
4. What made wedding memorable.
5. The words GROOM and/or BRIDE, LOVE, RING, MUSIC and CAKE.

Bonus Points for using the word MONKEY.