my first lesbian wedding was a scandalous affair,
there was a bride and a bride, with no groom in sight,
and all their friends were there,
two nice middle-aged ladies pledge their love and traded rings,
++and I guess you could say it was a very gay day,
++and I got paid to sing..

it all went down on the South Side at this charming B&B,
I was the sub for a guy who’s a friend of mine,
he plays the weddings there usually,
Ellen and Dawn requested this Joshua Radin song called “Today,”
++so I sang it for them as they walked in,
++’cause Ellen DeGeneres had done the same..
++++ I guess what makes me nervous is how it’s all so well disguised,
++++ but behind the kind words, and the scrumptious hors d’œuvres,
++++ that’s where the gay agenda lies!
++++++ they had a tasty wedding cake,
++++++ a dance music playlist that was great,
++++++ and all their friends seemed really fun,
++++++ it kinda made you wanna be a lesbian..

at my first lesbian wedding, such a wild and crazy trip,
I played for dinner and drinks, and then they said “thanks,”
and gave me an enormous tip,
some might call this occasion a sign of society’s decay,
++back when the laws used to say you couldn’t do it that way,
++they got their papers in New York, threw the party in PA,
++and I guess you could say it was a very gay day,
++and I got paid for it…