Everybody’s on the Phone

Written January 2005

Tab C, open

all around the world, anywhere you go, everybody’s on the phone,
driving down the road, something you should know is that
+++ everybody’s on the phone,
+++++ they’re all talkin’ to someone (who’s)
+++++ talkin’, is everybody talking but me?
+++++ would somebody do one thing at a time, please?..

walking down the street, strangers that you meet,
+++ they’re talkin’, but they’re all alone,
it’s really hard to tell the crazy from the well
+++ now that everybody’s on the phone,
+++++ all over the supermarket, chattin’ in the checkout line,
+++++ I’m so happy to hear her tumor’s benign..
+++++ that was more than I wanted to know,
+++++ why your former boyfriend had to go,
+++++ I have conversation overload, now that everybody’s on the phone..

standing face to face in a public place,
+++ there are certain things you would not say,
but since you’re on the phone, although you’re not alone,
+++ now you say them anyway,
+++++ so swear like a sailor loud enough to make a grandma frown,
+++++ at least she has a hearing aid to turn down..
+++++ that was more than I wanted to know,
+++++ why your former girlfriend is a ho,
+++++ I have conversation overload, now that everybody’s on the phone..
+++ your family history, plumbing emergency,
+++ impending bankruptcy, why you put your dog to sleep,
+++ your infidelity, recent vasectomy,
+++ if you’re not telling me, then say it quietly, please!..

all around the world, everywhere you go,
everybody’s on the phone,
driving down the road, better take it slow, now that
everybody’s on the phone, everybody’s on the phone,
everybody’s on the phone, everybody’s on the phone…

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